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DEMEANOR: shy and quiet. reserved around strangers. she will warm up around her friends and is cheerful in good company, but prefers to let others do the bulk of the talking.
VISUAL: petite and curvy, with shoulder-length purple hair and dark, purple eyes. always seen with a red ribbon tied on the left side of her hair.
ATTIRE: normally seen in her school uniform, but outside of class tends to dress fairly conservatively, favoring knee-high skirts, long sleeves, and clothing that purposefully does not over accentuate her body.
VOICE: Light, high-pitched. reminiscent of a traditional, soft-spoken Japanese girl. "[x]
SCENT: soft-scented soaps with a faint flowery fragrance. those with strong noses might pick up on a slight scent of decay.
MENTAL: depressed, bitter, and negative, though she strives to repress these feelings. her mental state improves drastically when around people who care about her.
FAMILY: Grandfather: Zouken Matou || Older Brother: Shinji Matou || Estranged Older Sister: Rin Tohsaka
RELATIONSHIPS: Depending on route and canon point, her boyfriend is Shirou Emiya
HISTORY: her background is a walking trigger warning for sexual abuse, physical abuse, worm infestation, corruption, childhood trauma, incest, and suicide ideation. yep, there is a lot going on here. [x].
In public, Sakura presents herself as a modest, polite, and quiet teenager. She is obedient and well-mannered, and people would offhandedly cite her as “nice” for no other reason than they can’t think of better word.
But underneath her neutral expression exists a very sad and broken girl. Years of torture and abuse at the hands of her adoptive family have turned her lonely, accustomed to cruelty, and the result is Sakura remains polite in her interactions while making few efforts to branch out. The only people she is seen with are Shirou, her brother, and the archery club (in the club's case, she maintains emotional distance)
As a result of being constantly abused (and in her brother's case, the subject of rape), Sakura is secretly vindictive towards the people she thinks have wronged her, and bitter at the happenstance which landed her in this cycle of abuse. However, she also believes herself to be a hypocrite for thinking these things, and so spends much of her life trying to squash down her negativity; after all, why should she pass judgement on others when she follows the whims of her Grandfather with all the resistance of a broken puppet?
Her inability to escape her Grandfather is why Sakura sees nothing but a coward who has accepted her fate. She won’t run away, can’t bring herself to take her own life, and so must live with the fact that there is no one to save her. Thus there's little point in picking up the broken pieces left in the wake of her grandfather and step-brother.
However, for all her bitterness, a deep seed of resilience is what defines Sakura’s core. Her grandfather handpicked her because he thought her fragile – then tortured her for years, implanting a Worm Crest in her body to break her spirit and mold her into a fitting vessel – and yet his abuse has yet to strike the killing blow. She bears through her training with great stoicism, never fighting back but never giving in, like a splintered mirror that won't completely shatter.
She does have other facets to her personality, of course. In the right company -- especially when around Shirou and Fujimura -- Sakura transforms into a more optimistic, hopeful individual. While still very quiet, she is capable of laughter, teasing, and exudes a gentle sort of goodwill. She stands as a well of compassion and makes it her job to cheer others on should they need the extra boost. There’s no shortage of stubbornness in her, either, especially when she’s determined to make herself useful, or when the people she cares about are pushing themselves beyond their limits.
Though on the flip side, being so starved for positive interaction means that Sakura throws most of her efforts into increasing Shirou's opinion of her, through cooking and housework. He's her sun, her moon, her guiding star, the one good thing to come into her life. The thought of losing him cuts so deeply that even though she was sent to spy on him on her Grandfather's orders, Sakura can't bear to willingly break their connection on her own. Without him, she might as well have no hope for the future.
This pining for Shirou thus puts her at odds with her biological sister, Rin Tohsaka, the girl who was chosen to head the Tohsaka household because (Sakura assumes) she was the better choice. Sakura loves her sister the same way a zealot loves a god, yet at the same time it's Rin whom Sakura blames more than anyone else for her suffering. In her eyes, Rin has never tried to rescue Sakura from her plight, and instead flaunts her privilege and perfection as the “chosen one”. Thus the kindness expressed during those empty moments in the school hallways isn't enough to bridge the gulf between them. That Sakura knows Rin is attracted to Shirou (and vice versa) is a constant knife in her heart -- proof that the people she loves will eventually leave her without a backwards glance.
These two relationships in Sakura’s life highlight that while she’s made gains into becoming a more open, thoughtful person, Sakura is still wrought with jealousy, bitterness, and curses. Happiness is just a pipe dream in the end. The world cosigned her suffering by standing silent when she cried for help all those years ago, and what's left is a girl searching for a hero.
🌸 Magic Circuits: 40 high-quality inbred circuits that allow for the ability to perform magecraft. These circuits raise Sakura's natural body temperature by a few degrees and can result in pain/body aches when used.
🌸 Imaginary Number:
The ability to sense and interact with “hollows” (ghosts, spirits, shadows, etc). When used in conjunction with the water element, Sakura can control them and store hollows in a separate pocket dimension, or even use them to attack/defend herself. Sakura has no training to utilize her affinity and only comes to realize the power after she becomes Dark Sakura.
🌸 Water Affinity:
One of the Great Five Elements. Allows Sakura to use spells that manipulate a person’s mana flow, much like the current of a river. Can theoretically manipulate water, but Sakura was never formally trained as a mage and it is highly unlikely she was taught any such spells.
🌸 Matou Family Magecraft: Magecraft of the Matou family. The spells focus on “absorption” – draining a person’s mana, or transferring it between the victim and caster. Sakura has only demonstrated one such power in canon.
🌸 The Root:
Connection to the Root. No matter the spell used, Sakura has an immense amount of mana on standby, which means she can endlessly cast spells. However, she can only release a fraction of the mana at any given time, so the immensity of the spells will always be handicapped.
Golden Peacock: she is not connected to the Root in-game.
🌸 Archery:
Extreme accuracy with a bow and arrow. Not to the level of supernatural talent, but she is quite capable nonetheless.
🌸 Holy Grail: The requirements for such an event to happen are very specific, but Sakura can function as a holy grail during a holy grail war. Her body will fill with mana and once enough has gathered, said mana can be used to produce a miracle. The trade-off, however, is that Sakura's bodily functions will eventually cease.
Golden Peacock: Sakura has absorbed at least three Servants, which means she is currently holding a metric ton of mana in her body, but she is being allowed to function for the sake of gameplay.
🌸 Black Shadow: An "ability" that is only realized in very specific instances. The corrupted contents of the holy grail spill out through Saura and take on her likeness and sub-consciousness, and the result is essentially a walking curse that consumes mana. Servants can't defeat it, seeing they are beings of pure mana, and Sakura can "eat" humans while in this form. The only way to kill it is by killing Sakura.
Golden Peacock: As she is not connected to the grail, the black shadow cannot manifest in-game.
🌸 Shadow Giants: Sakura's familiars that she can create given her imaginary number abilities. Normally they are quite small, but when she is hooked up to the root, they can grow in size. If she's under Angra Mainyu's influence, the giants also double as walking curses comparable to a Heroic Spirit's noble phantasm.
THREADHOPPING: ✔ just be respectful about it
FOURTHWALLING: ✘
ROMANCE: ✔ she has a boyfriend but I’ll allow for game-related situation-ships; psls and memes are fair game
MINDREADING: ✔just check in with me first
MANIPULATION: ✔just check in with me first
FIGHTING: ✔the world shall judge you for hurting this poor girl but let them dance for my entertainment anyway
INJURY: ✔just check in with me first
KILLING: ✘ she’s gone through enough in life
Feel free to contact for more information and plotting! Generally you can’t go wrong with just asking first!
PSLS: yes plz, these are my lifeblood, i can backtag forever.
AUS: red string of fate; medieval/period pieces; soul mates; arranged marriage; monster au; holy grail war au; mermaid au; honestly I will take any and all AUs, I love them
CONTENT: character exploration is my bread and butter, with focus on Sakura’s struggles with her depressive and vengeful nature; also keen on exploring the effects of abuse; romance is awesome when it happens but gimme some familial stuff too
DO NOT WANT: zero interest in “knights in shining armor” types to rescue her bc no one’s doing it better than Shirou; overly heavy smut with no build-up also a no; any form of degrading her will get you cussed out and blocked; i’m also not great with fluff if there’s no build-up or context to it
DYNAMICS: characters who are protective but in a “let’s just burn it all down” sort of way; older sibling types; parental figures, loving or corruptive; anyone who can unlock her stubborn streak; characters who are seemingly unsympathetic but push her to be better (or worse)
SHIPPING: I don’t particularly ship Sakura with anyone, which is a great way of saying she’s my cross-canon bicycle. that said, she loves Shirou and that will be a factor in any psls where he’d naturally be prevalent, such as HGW AUs. otherwise it’s all free game, no preference for partner gender or sexuality
TAG STYLE: I prefer brackets but it’s not a deal breaker
TAG SPEED: I can be slow myself so backtagging is great; however, if our psl is taking us over a month to get to, I’d rather we focus our energies elsewhere unless we’ve spoken about it.
♥ Multiple Orgasms
✔ Sex Toys
✔ Strap-Ons (G & R)
✔ Cunnilingus (G & R)
✔ Vaginal Penetration (R)
✔ Fellatio (G)
✔ Creampies
✔ Multiple Partners
✔ Double Penetration
✔ Roleplay
✔ Voyeurism
✔ Heat/Rut
✔ Size Difference
✔ BDSM
✔ Bloodplay
✔Orgasm Control/Denial
✔ Master/Pet
♥ Clothed Sex
◌ Dub-Con
◌
✘ Watersports
✘ Pregnancy
✘ Vomit
✘ Scat
✘ Vore
✘ Non-Con
Opt Out
As a general rule, Sakura doesn’t talk about any of this, and only close CR would stand a chance of touching on these subjects. I also am very sparse on details, so besides a stray comment hinting over the fact that she’s a sad girl deep down, there won’t be any graphic depictions of what she went through.
That said, please opt-out here if you’re prefer not to interact with her. No shame! I completely understand if any of the topics just aren’t your cup of tea.
For anyone wanting privacy, I can screen on request.